Neurodiversity-Affirming? 

What I’ve Learned Through Doing All the Wrong Things

A little bit of information about myself: I’m not a fan of social media. I used to have all the accounts—Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, TikTok. But naturally, as a millennial woman who has anxiety, it wasn't in my best interests for my mental health. Constant comparisons. Feeling inadequate and insecure. So, a few years ago, I deleted all of my accounts and never regretted the decision.

Recently, I began collaborating with the owner of a local indoor playground I take my daughter to. I wanted to provide some support to families on the side of my full-time job as an Assistive Technology (AT) and Augmentative and Alternative Communication (AAC) Specialist for our school district—a job that I enjoy so much (I could do a whole post about that!). It was suggested that I get on social media to share some of my SLP knowledge and experience with parents eager to learn about language development.

I help run my AT team’s social media account, so even though I’ve only recently joined social media for my private practice, I’m very familiar with the popular Instagram accounts of who I consider to be the upcoming leaders and popular voices in the field of SLP and AAC (e.g., Rachel Madel, Chris Bugaj, Sensory SLP, Boho Speechie, Emily Diaz, AAC Innovations, YourSLPBestie, SpeechDude, Connections Speech Pathology, Meaningful Speech, etc.). If you aren’t familiar with these accounts, definitely check them out. You’ll see an overall pattern or theme amongst these clinicians: they’re all advocating for neurodiversity-affirming practices.

When my team first started discussing neurodiversity-affirming practices, unsure if it was a passing buzzword or a new movement in disability activism, I think we all agreed that the concepts made perfect sense and were ideals that we advocated for in our positions, even if not explicitly stated. Being on social media, I felt like my brain was going to explode with all of the information and dos and don’ts. To be honest, I felt some shame. So many of the things I was reading about, I had done as a young therapist. And when I say some, I mean a LOT. I did A LOT of the wrong things.

My favorite part of  being on social media is seeing therapists admitting and acknowledging the things they’d done wrong and sharing their growth journeys. So, in that spirit, here’s my post where I will be vulnerable and tell you that when I come to support and coach you, it comes from a place of learning through trial and error. From doing all of the wrong things that I repeatedly tell everyone NOT to do. So when you feel defensive—maybe due to some underlying guilt that’s difficult to acknowledge—just know that probably all of us have been there to some extent.

The Turning Point

My turning point came when I was working as an elementary school SLP in self-contained ASD classrooms. When I say I did all the wrong things, I’m not exaggerating. I think I did everything that I now tell everyone not to do. I had ableist views and used ableist terminology. I spoke about and wrote IEPs from a deficits standpoint rather than a strengths-based approach. I organized and raised money for the Autism Speaks Walk fundraiser (cringe). I wrote and worked on eye contact goals. I used token boards and first-then boards in my therapy sessions. I used hand-over-hand modeling to get my students to say what I wanted them to say. I withheld preferred items until they requested them. I made them say full sentences like “I want…” instead of honoring their communication attempts. I drilled and killed by having my students identify vocabulary in varying fields. When my students wanted to talk repeatedly about their special interests, I redirected them instead of leaning into them.

While I did many things that I look back upon with cringe, I can see now that I did many things right too. I was eager and made sure all of my students had visual supports all over campus. Originally, I had tried to make PECS books and became so frustrated with the tedious and time-consuming process of cutting out all the little pictures and customizing them for each student, only to have the pieces thrown, chewed on, or lost. I was close to giving up on AAC and even remember repeatedly telling my colleagues that I hated AAC (hilarious, right?).

A huge turning point was having the pleasure of working with an amazing teacher (shoutout to Eve) who asked me to make her entire class communication books. Working with this teacher was really the start of my AAC journey. She taught me so much. We trained staff on modeling and providing access. Every time the paraprofessionals left the classroom, they knew to grab all of the students' communication books. Every activity, they opened up to the relevant topic page and modeled.

When my school's AT specialist (shout-out to Tina) shared that they had a position opening up on the team and that I should apply, I was honestly shocked she thought I was good enough to be considered. Imposter syndrome fully set in. Looking back, I can see why she saw my potential, but at the time, I felt like I could have been doing so much better with my AAC practices. 

The Learning Process

Fast forward to interviewing for the AT specialist position; the interview went amazing and I was sure I got the job. Instead, they asked me to work in the AAC classroom at a middle school to gain more experience. Looking back, this was the best thing that could’ve happened. The experience was invaluable; I learned so much and I loved it. It was the coolest experience to be in a classroom where all of the students were proficient and loved using speech-generating devices, and the entire classroom was built around AAC. All day we spoke AAC. I'm so thankful for that experience. A veteran AT specialist (thanks, Colleen!) helped support me in the classroom, and I learned so much through her expertise while simultaneously completing environmental communication teaching training. The following year, I joined the AT team and can honestly say it's the most rewarding, fulfilling job I've ever had. I work with the most amazing team who have so much collective knowledge. Before, I used to hate PD; now, I can't get enough.

Embracing Neurodiversity-Affirming Practices

Learning about AAC aligned perfectly with becoming more neurodiversity-affirming. The things you read about are all just AAC best practices: honoring all modalities, respecting autonomy by never using hand-over-hand or making a child say what you want them to say, building connections, and building on current strengths. These principles are fundamental to both AAC and a neurodiversity-affirming approach. 

Some of the challenges faced with these changes in mindset are watching others continue all the cringey things I was so ashamed of doing in my past. It's hard to face the resistance to change too. But I know change doesn't happen overnight, and I've worked with so many amazing educators who have grown like I have, and that has been incredibly rewarding. I was so nervous about coaching, and my imposter syndrome reared its ugly head constantly. But I realized that my past mistakes give me an important edge and perspective that allows me to coach, support, and mentor others learning about AAC from a truly nonjudgmental place.

Advice for Others

If you're a therapist or parent struggling with similar issues, my advice is to be patient with yourself. Change takes time, and it's okay to make mistakes along the way. Seek out resources and support systems that align with neurodiversity-affirming practices. Engage with communities, both online and offline, that share these values.

This journey has profoundly impacted me both personally and professionally. Embracing a neurodiversity-affirming perspective has not only made me a better therapist but also a more compassionate and understanding person. I now view each child as a unique individual with their own strengths and potential, rather than a list of deficits to be fixed.

Looking ahead, I am excited about continuing to grow and learn. All of this is a process. While my Instagram bio says "ND-affirming," I don't believe it's a state of being or a place to arrive. I think it means that we strive for it by constantly listening to and learning from disabled people and adjusting our mindset. I now approach my work with a neurodiversity-affirming perspective, striving to support and empower each individual’s unique communication journey. My goal is to help you do the same, without making the mistakes I did. Let's learn and grow together.